it’s been easier to trust memory lately
funny that, your voice is no longer there
telling me how i should be for you
waiting on a constant change of mind
unkindness came easier with that
not to say i am without blame
i know i’m selfish in what i want
cruel capabilities intruding on thought
i know i’m lost somewhere between
good intentions and blind desire
i’ll remain a bitch but the anger is exhausting
the letdown of catharsis, turning away
to face a different wall staring back
i feel loved a lot differently now
no longer biting the insides of my mouth
i’m sick of fucking to make amends
i’m not crying in taxis before and after
some neuroses just shouldn’t align
one prolonged apology deciphering another
i’m more myself without you on my mind
/// 