xxvii

and sometimes i want, i’m starving
i see strangers and i need them to fuck me
detachment recovery, i’m fine until it’s smothering
pretending to live like i was made from nothing
heal quick but the scars are still forming
fell faint into the fog this morning
wish i asked for more before the guilt came haunting
pulled my own eye from it’s socket like i was owed a suffering
maybe patience chose me to draw the tower
bite the paper, fingers laced between the folds
like a coward, done only as i am told
i watched their expressions turn sour
like poison suckled from a dying flower
their love grew paler by each impatient hour
impulse tendencies to dour the air we share
i stripped myself down all for you to empower
it’s desperation that strangled the light from my eyes
i begged for the knife betwixt my thighs
cautions stalking, i tempt their lives with mine
i bind what i find, in debt to wasted time
killed myself a thousand times, no soul to stain inside
it’s trust that twined my hands behind my spine
and it’s trust that i forgave so blind
i still lie to keep myself alive