sometimes i don’t want to protect
i want the greed, i want to the drowning
i want what is selfish, more than i need
i want lies told in kindness, traded for sleep
whore heartbeat insecure, embodied fragility
it either means too much or not enough for me
the constant burn of headlight beams
soaked canvas scraping against the guttering
you’re still hiding somewhere beneath my tongue
tried to lose myself in someone else, pretending
my lungs would take what i should have stopped
weightless until the tension knots
aimless and stray in the lust of internal othering
counting time loss to the songs i’ve been swallowing
i’m someone else, wading through aphasia recovery
blankly gazing through the haze I’ve been coveting
/// 