if we are bending against the light
how long will it take to embrace the break?
gather up the warmth as if it will never leave
hide out in dark until an apology leads
an endless chase of autistic urgency
to find meaning in everything
i found nothing but god in absence of
never finding god in a single living thing
my baptism was bent knees and puddles of piss
doused in tender affections of someone sweeter than heaven
evergreen aspirations deafening me
holding on too tight to the ever-temporary
i want to know with certainty
when certainty is a promise that will never keep
i want to forgive everything
in spite of phantom pains lingering
every body of water is capable of drowning
believe myself when i try to resist the pull
but, fuck, i need my fill
everything seems so quiet, turning under the current
/// 