i cover my body to escape
there is no stillness holding onto me
the mirage of static in my skull
pulsing through tunnel vision
shallow haze bathed in mercury
let go and sink into patience
syncopation like an unsteady heart rate
i used to dream of beautiful things
stalking gloom; relentless devil
in my ear, it whispers desperate
for all the things that cannot be what they are
layers of noise over empty spaces
doppelgängers chanting over me
i wonder what it meant for me
everything beyond knowing or control
living comfortably where it shouldn’t be
in memories that will not stay ignored
in gaps left by broken skin
the ease of colour slipping in
i am left before the slowdown
time-blind and lacking urgency
the drive to lay before sinking lights
pulled closer than what is deserving
and released before i earned my place
a repeated lie to keep my shadow safe
/// 